


Is This How It Feels?

by Panicsinbisexual



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Closeted Character, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friendship, Implied Relationships, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29392416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panicsinbisexual/pseuds/Panicsinbisexual
Summary: Sirius Black and Lily Evans each see Remus Lupin and James Potter with someone. Someone who isn’t them. They find comfort in each other’s jealousy.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin





	Is This How It Feels?

**Author's Note:**

> This is slightly inspired by the scene of Hermione and Harry in HP and The Half Blood Prince!

’If _they_ were going to be together, they could have at least saved the snogging for their dorms and not the bloody hallways.’ Sirius Black thought to himself as he walked to charms class beside one of his best friends, James Potter.

Seeing Marlene McKinnon and Remus Lupin _together_ was one (if not _the_ most) terrible that could have happened in the history of ever, or at least it was to Sirius. His ex-girlfriend and his best friend, that he had been secretly (or not so secretly) in love with since he was like 14 were bloody _together_. Life could not get any worse. 

Update: it got worse.   
  


As Lily and Sirius walked down the halls they seen none other than James Potter and bloody Dorcas Meadowes holding hands as they walked down the halls. Of course he had to go for bloody Dorcas Meadowes. One of Lily’s best friends dating the boy she’s been in love with since they were 15.   
  
“What in the actual fuck.” Sirius whispered to Lily.   
  


“You could say that again.” Lily scoffed quietly. “I think I’m gonna skip class today. Tell McGonagall I wasn’t feeling well or something.” She moped off with a sad look in her eyes. That was thing about Lily. She could be smiling and laughing while looking like she’s having the time of her life. But in all actuality, you can’t tell how she really feels until you look right into her eyes. 

“Hey, Sirius. Is Lily alright?” James asked Sirius after he walked away from Dorcas.   
  


“No, you bloody idiot!” Sirius said looking at him like he had just _openly_ admitted to being Voldemort himself.   
  


“What did I do?” James asked, throwing his arms up.

“You’re so stupid.” Sirius rolled his eyes. “I’ve got to go find Evans. I love you man but stay away.”

As Sirius walked away and James stood there dumbfounded, Peter Pettigrew walked up to James. “Peter. Did I do something wrong?” James asked Peter.   
  


Peter scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Mate, you’d be bloody insane to think you _didn’t_ do something wrong.”

Lily was laying on the couch in the Gryffindor common room with her ABBA record playing as she yelled the lyrics. 

“Lily?” Sirius asked as he walked in.   
  


“No, it’s bloody mad-eye Moody. Yes it’s me!” Lily yelled back sitting up.   
  


“I forgot how even more sarcastic you get when you’re upset.” Sirius said, laughing softly while sitting next to her.   
  


“I’m not upset. Why would I be upset? There’s no-“ Lily’s voice broke a little as a single tear dropped down her face. “Is this how it feels when you see Remus with all of those people?” Lily asked softly. “Because this feels terrible.”

  
“Yes. This is exactly how it feels.” Sirius said softly. Lily hugged Sirius and sobbed into his shirt. “This is exactly how it feels.” Sirius said even softer while wrapping his arms around Lily’s back. 

  
“God Siri and with my bloody best friend! Who the fuck does that!?” Lily yelled sitting back up and wiping her own tears.   
  


“I know, Lils. I know.” He told her softly. Just as they were about to get up to head back to class, two people walked into the common room. Sirius and Lily, assuming it was professors coming to check the common rooms, hid down in front of the couch. But instead of two professors they seen none other than Marlene and Dorcas bloody making out.   
  


“Holy...” Lily whispered to Sirius. 

“Fucking...” Sirius whispered back.

“Shit...” Lily finished.   
  


“Let’s expose them or something.” Sirius said going to stand up.  
  


“Wait!” Lily whisper yelled as she pulled him back down.  
  


“What?” He asked angrily.   
  


“What if they’re closeted?”  
  


”They shouldn’t be fucking cheating Lils!” Sirius whispered yelled.

Well obviously not quietly enough because Marlene then proceeded to yell “Hello? Who’s there.”

”Shit.” Lily whispered. “Look what you did stupid!”   
  


“What _I_ did? I didn’t do that!” Sirius whispered back.   
  


Lily sighed and stood up. “Listen. I’m so sorry. We thought you were professors and we just didn’t want to get in trouble for skipping and-“ 

“Oh thank Merlin! We’re good Dor! It’s just Lils!” Marlene called to Dorcas. She was standing outside of the door.   
  


Dorcas walked back in awkwardly. “Actually I’m here too.” Sirius said bashfully while standing up to face them. “Why. Why would you do something like that? James and Remus are going to be heart broken.”  
  


Dorcas and Marlene stared into each other’s eyes. Secrecy written all over their face. Marlene turned her head to the side, and without saying anything Dorcas answered with a nod. “Me and James’ relationship is...fake.” Marlene admitted quietly. “Same with Remus and Dorcas’s. And Dorcas and I just so happened to be closeted, and in order to make-“ Marlene paused and drew in a shaky breath. “ _Certain people_ jealous, we went into a fake relationship.”.   
  


“And um, we always skip class to spend time together. Like as a couple.” Dorcas added.

Lily and Sirius looked at each other with pain in their eyes, for they truly felt for the two girls. “God, I’m so sorry.” Lily cooed.   
  


Sirius looked up slowly at the two girls. “Who are the people?” Sirius asked quietly.   
  


“They wanted to make...”

”What the hell Sirius!” James yelled walking into the common room with Remus and Peter following behind him. “You really left me in bloody Potions class all alone! Snape kept making dumbass remarks!”   
  


“Sorry James, I was rather busy.”

”What are you guys doing anyway?” James asked.   
  


“I left my book in the common room.” Marlene said as Dorcas said “I wasn’t feeling well.”   
  


Lily sighed. “They mean Dorcas wasn’t feeling well and Marlene had also forgot her book so they walked together back here.” Lily explained.   
  


“And you two?” James asked pointing at Lily and Sirius.   
  


“Lily was upset because of a _certain_ bloody idiot and I was going to make sure she was alright.” Sirius explained.   
  


“Marlene, can I speak to you please?” Remus asked her. “ _Alone_.”

  
“Of course. Let’s go.” She said walking out of the common room and into the halls. Remus followed after her.

”I’m going to my dorm.” Sirius said softly, smiling sadly.   
  


“I’ll go with you.” James said.   
  


“No!” Sirius yelled. “I mean, I’m just going to go by myself.” Sirius said much softer.   
  
  


“Okay...?” James said confused. 

As Sirius walked to he and the rest of the Marauders dorm James looked at Lily with a questioning look. She nodded. “He needs you right now. Whether he’s going to admit or not.”   
  


“Thanks Evans.” He smiled at her as he went to find Sirius.

James walked up the stairs to their dormitory wondering what the hell he could of done wrong. He knocked on the door and when there was no response he yelled “I’m coming in whether you like it or not!” Sirius was laying in his own bed (shocker) with his head in his pillow. “Sirius?” James asked softly.   
  


“Yeah?” His voice was hoarse, like he had just been crying for hours all though it’s only been less than two minutes.   
  


“Wanna talk about it?”   
  


“No. Just come here please.” He said sitting up. His face was red and his eyes were bloodshot. A rare occasion for Sirius Black was one in which he openly expressed his emotions, his _real_ emotions. Sirius had always been good at hiding.

As James walked over to him, all he didn’t say a word, he knew exactly what Sirius needed in that moment. A friend. He opened his arms for Sirius and Sirius collapsed in his arms as he cried. “Why her James?” Sirius whispered.   
  


“Why who Sirius?”   
  


“Marlene.” He whispered.   
  


“You mean Moony’s girlfriend? Like one of all of our best friends?”   
  


“Yeah...” 

“What do you mean why her?”   
  
  


“Why does he like her?” 

“I don’t know Pads.” He whispered back. “I don’t know.” He repeated. They stayed like that until they both fell asleep.   
  


  
  


Marlene followed Remus out the door of the common room. “What happened?” He asked in a monotone voice.   
  


“I don’t know what you mean.”   
  


“You know _exactly_ what I mean.”   
  


“Okay fine. They came in. We didn’t tell them what exactly what the situation was but some of it.” She said avoiding Remus’ eyes as he avoided hers.

  
“How long until you guys are ready because I can’t fucking do this anymore Marls. I love you and would do anything for you but I fucking hate seeing Sirius and Lily like that.”

“So do I.” Marlene said as she walked back into the common room leaving Remus alone. 


End file.
